I have been regrouping for the last few months and just getting to know my life in the UK again. It is been a rough transition, to say the least, when you are used to a lifestyle and a living dynamic, to have that completely changed in the space of days can be disruptive.
Tips for moving country! The top stresses in life are a new job and a new house. What do you do when you are dealing with both at the same time while also factoring in a 4000-mile distance? I took a placement year during my […]
Let’s face it, I have never been a fiscal guru. If you put my credit history on a graph it would resemble something like a mountain skyline. From considering selling my kidney to marrying someone so that they can get a visa for cash, older […]
Hey friends and family, I am back with a life update here and before we start I am a little short on content at the moment so please accept some old silhouettes of me looking wistfully into the distance. Once again I have promised consistent […]
“Energy is finite” you have to be careful where you expend it and to whom”
Now picture this story:
You are at the office, you had a 6 am start and it is not looking like you will be out much before 6 pm. Every blink feels like you have momentarily fallen asleep and every time you take a seat it is bliss. Everything that could have gone wrong did. You have unhappy clients, unhappy employees and when you look in the mirror there is an unhappy auto driving zombie looking back at you. You have been pulled every way imaginable and in terms of energy, positivity and charisma – you are in short supply. You might feel guilty for feeling this way, but you should not. Of course, maybe your moral suffered but the thing about moral is that it is contagious, so self-reflection and self-care are paramount so that you do not become a sinking ship taking a crew down with you. Do not let a bad experience or day direct you to a destructive path.
Now we have all had those days where all you would like to do is go home, sit with a glass or 4 of wine and just revel in your own solidarity (featuring Netflix). Some may think this is a bad way to spend your time, but I beg to differ. It is important to recharge your batteries in any which way that suits you. Expanding too much energy on small details can be extremely detrimental to your wellbeing. It will make you look visibly, mentally and physically fatigued.
Negativity – it is important to choose your battles! The charisma and energy that you expel are not infinite, so wasting too much time on unimportant or unpleasant conversations can help deplete this energy fast. Giving too much of yourself will leave you feeling exhausted. A long time ago I made a rule to myself that I would not pursue friendships with individuals who did not make me feel good, a friendship should not be a chore.
Easy ways to do this is self-care, I always like to split these into two different categories; self-image and self-development.
It might sound conceited, but I think we can all agree that when you feel like you look good, you feel good. It shines from the inside out. Do the things that make you feel like that. For myself, I like to sit and do my eyebrows, double cleanse my skin and exfoliate the day away. For others it is a trip to the hairdressers or spa, get that seaweed mud wrap, get that pedicure as well as that manicure because an investment in your own well-being is never a waste. When you pay for good and services you are not only paying for that tangible element but that intangible element, that feeling, that dopamine release.
Things to do when you’re feeling down
- Face Mask – I have talked about this one before but I am still a huge advocate for the Indian Healing Mask suck all of those negative emotions out of your pores, why stop at face mask, under eye mask, lip mask, foot mask and hand mask, go all out!
- Do your eyebrows – pluck them and tidy up those hairs, I recently invested in these little gems and they have changed my eyebrow game for the better.
- Get your hair cut, you’ll feel fresher and more organised and why you’re at it, cover that hair in coconut oil and watch Netflix for a few hours and then just shampoo it out (you’ll thank me later).
- Rearrange your room – there is such a delicate connection between the space that you are in and your mental wellbeing, it will make you feel accomplished. Get on Pinterest and get creative.
Work on that hobby that you have always wanted to hone, it will help you increase your self-value and your skill set. I have recently been dabbling in web design and although it is a long process, I managed to create my own website, with no previous knowledge or training in web design or WordPress at first it was daunting. I did not put any pressure on myself, I learned at my own pace and when I wanted too so that it never became a chore. Completely contrasting but my next hobby to hone is knitting – I am looking to knit one of those huge chunky knit blankets that you see on Instagram and Pinterest and why? 1. Because it would be impeccable in my bedroom and 2. Whenever I look at it I can think – yes that was me, I did that. The point I am making is that these hobbies and skills need not be work-related. The golden rule in everything in life is to do what makes you feel fulfilled.
Some fun things to try
- Paint and Sip
- Spin Class
Join a class, with websites like Groupon there is no excuse to not. I have recently been looking at pottery classes in NYC and I cannot wait to get started. Classes are not a necessity, watch a Youtube video on something new and learn something fun. Next time you find yourself feeling a little outside yourself – just do what makes you feel good, do what makes you feel like you again. You do you.
I wanted to tell you a little about my experience with a derma roller. A derma roller is essentially a bunch of little needles that you roll on to the skin which creates lots of tiny little holes that your body then naturally starts to […]
My main focus this year is going to be on me and to really start working on the things that I do not like about myself. One of these is my skin, I have always had a fragile relationship with my skin to the point where […]
In true Aaron Dowler style – this blog has arrived around several months late. Anyone who followed my story in Florida will know that I am notoriously late and inconsistent when it comes to keeping people updated on my life. It did not help that I fell down the vast rabbit hole that is New York City. Honestly, what can I say about this beautiful terrifying city? it is the kind of place where if you truly stop and look around it is incomprehensible, the sheer vastness of it. It is almost indescribable. When living in Florida I visited NYC once and only for 4 days and in the grand scheme of life 4 days seems fairly insignificant. However, those 4 days were enough to decide that it was where I wanted to start my career straight out of University.
I am working for an amazing innovative full-service event and conference company. I know, I know – any University friends out there will know that the entirety of my “International Event Management” degree I complained about not wanting to work in the event industry but this amazing opportunity fell on my lap and I would have been a fool not to take it. My career here moved very fast, I started this company at a point where the growth and opportunities are almost infinite and although I started on an internship, I very quickly got promoted to a service manager and I am now even in talks with lawyers about a visa for another 3-6 years!
I am living in a quaint little apartment in the East Village, and although the rent is eye-watering high, it is a place that I have come to love. Sure, the streets are not that clean but to be honest, you will be hard-pressed to find a clean street in this city. Between the toxic smells coming out of manholes and the drips of New York mystery water on your shoulder, the cleanliness is not exactly white glove. My bedroom is littered with candles and plants and it is really beginning to feel like a sanctuary. A sanctuary that is six floors in the air with no elevator that gives me a cardiovascular attack on every ascent that is.
My work location is in Midtown which is home to a lot of financial firms and investment companies. If you look up anywhere in Midtown you will be met with hideously high, ambiguous buildings – all of which no one really knows what are for. To be able to come down to the lower east side and get out of the corporate cloud is a true bliss. Not to mention that the LES is home to some of the best-unlimited brunch places in Manhattan and of course what is a weekend if it is not bottomless mimosas and friends?
Speaking of friends, I have made an amazing little friendship group here! I have always been one of those people who likes low maintenance friendships so a few close friends to me are a lot more important than a thousand acquaintances. I just do not have the time or energy for the upkeep or being out every night to maintain a friendship. I can not speak to someone for months and still know that we can pick up where we left off as if there was no time passed at all. That combined with the fact that I love my own company meant that to find a few close friends straight away has been amazing. We have even affectionally started a group called “Fun Friends” on nearly every social platform so that we stay updated with each other’s stories.
There are of course downsides to moving 4000 miles away from home, here in NYC I do not have the same support network and although mum is just a phone call away it is not the same as a cup of tea and a rant. Not to mention my little army of siblings, it is walking that fine tightrope of following your dreams and whilst also realising that you are sacrificing a lot.
I cannot recall every detail about what has happened since moving here because life is just going at 100mph! but any questions or requests I would be happy to post. This blog is going to a hobby for me. I wanted to expand my skill set, so I dabbled in web design and creative writing and although I am still working out the kinks I am excited at what I have created. Follow this blog if you want some life updates, fashion and grooming tips as well as some fun places to go in New York!